7 Days Out.

So this morning I woke up at 6 and my VERY FIRST THOUGHT was...
A week from today.
Yep - that's what facing a big surgery does for me, kind of invades all the spaces of my heart and mind.
Not with fear - just with an awareness...
An understanding that I've got a husband, 3 teenagers, parents, siblings + spouses, nieces & nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, and really good friends - who have indicated they really like having me around.
I know, amazing.

But there's also a "knowing" that wakes up with me,
that God is with us in every big and small thing leading up to this "event".

So, in my waking up today, 
I praise Him for all of those..

- our family physician who found this tumor in a "routine" physical
- a surgeon who is highly skilled (as is in why is he in Fort Wayne, IN?)
- the way our kid's schools have rallied and will "provide whatever support your kids need"
- technology like facebook, the internet, smartphones (I know, crazy, but it has allowed for connection in ways that are a little overwhelming)
- His Word.  Passages like Galatians 2:20 (...the life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God..) & Psalm 116 (I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy...) have kept us going.
- a community of people who feel like they want/need to help...and we receive it.
- the birds making a racket outside this morning.
- the voices of the kiddos walking to the elementary school on our block
- that first sip of coffee I just had this morning...

The BIG and the small. 
He's in every one -- promising me He's still got it covered,
and every time I'm tempted to take it back -- He reminds me again,
"Suze, I made the sun come up this morning and I will set it down again tonight.
Trust Me".

If you're a praying person -- we would be honored if you would include us in your time in front of God.
We'll try to include specifics here on the blog.
For now, we would just submit our children...
Ben
Katie
Mackenzie.

Grateful for your partnering here.
And now, I'm off to the hospital for all my pre-surgery STUFF!

Blessings,
Suze

Up to Speed.

So this is us.  The Fairs.  And we're preparing for  an adventure that we're not really chosing but we're still being asked to get ready for.
If you're here -- you know that in July, our Family Doc (Patrick Holly -- who we LIKE A LOT) found a suspicious "something" in Suze's belly.  Later that month we found out it is a tumor in/on the pancreas.  Early pathology was hopeful -- the tissue that was sampled was not cancerous.  However, our surgeon (Alan Yahanda - who we like too, but we just don't know him that well yet!) feels like the tumor needs to come out.  This is the only way to know FOR SURE what we're up against.

Surgery has been scheduled for Oct 7 and it's a "doozey" (as Grandpa Jim would say).  6-8 hours in the O.R., then another 10-14 days in the hospital, and then another 2-4 weeks at home.  If you're into these kinds of things, the surgery is called the Whipple.

As you can imagine, all this has been a bit overwhelming.
With the time we've had to prep -- we've been getting our house in order, literally.
Cleaning, purging, preparing.
And our community has STEPPED up to help us figure out ways to continue to function as a family -- in all the practical and not-so-practical ways!
Our bosses (Wayne & Dave) have said to both Kelly & I, "you do whatever you need -- we'll take care of things here".  So grateful.
Our teams are generously picking up our loads on top of theirs (thank you Gordon, Gwen, Kirk, JoeC, Mars, Deb, Bill, Keith, Laura).
Our niece Amy has generously volunteered to take time off from her work in North Carolina and come be with us.
Jill Vardaman @FMC will be making sure our crew is getting fed.
Joy Sondag has volunteered to gather some gals & come clean our house (of course Suze made Kelly help clean it first!).
Jess Petry helped us find just the right Anesthesiologist (Did you know you can request? Thank you Carol Harrigan)
Dr. Holly answered all our practical questions (all 14 times we asked them).
Suze's sister Dawn is taking some of her 76 sick days and coming to sit on the porch with me at the end of the month.
Suze's parents are here in town and have (and will continue to) provide tons of emotional/physical/spiritual support.
Our Elders @FMC lead a beautiful service of annointing.
Our friends are praying.
And many will be with Kelly on surgery day.


Friends, here's what I know...
God is the boss of me.
He breathed life into me while I was in my mother's womb and
He is the only one who gets to decide when I'm done.
So, I walk into this procedure -- and whatever is on the other side of it -- clear on this...
God couldn't love me any more than he does right now.
And that Love -- a love that will not let me go -- I trust that.

Please check back here for updates throughout the next couple of months.

We are so honored that you would share this part of the journey with us.

Grateful,
Suze