The Fair Necessities: 7 Days Out.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

7 Days Out.

So this morning I woke up at 6 and my VERY FIRST THOUGHT was...
A week from today.
Yep - that's what facing a big surgery does for me, kind of invades all the spaces of my heart and mind.
Not with fear - just with an awareness...
An understanding that I've got a husband, 3 teenagers, parents, siblings + spouses, nieces & nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, and really good friends - who have indicated they really like having me around.
I know, amazing.

But there's also a "knowing" that wakes up with me,
that God is with us in every big and small thing leading up to this "event".

So, in my waking up today,
I praise Him for all of those..

- our family physician who found this tumor in a "routine" physical
- a surgeon who is highly skilled (as is in why is he in Fort Wayne, IN?)
- the way our kid's schools have rallied and will "provide whatever support your kids need"
- technology like facebook, the internet, smartphones (I know, crazy, but it has allowed for connection in ways that are a little overwhelming)
- His Word. Passages like Galatians 2:20 (...the life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God..) & Psalm 116 (I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy...) have kept us going.
- a community of people who feel like they want/need to help...and we receive it.
- the birds making a racket outside this morning.
- the voices of the kiddos walking to the elementary school on our block
- that first sip of coffee I just had this morning...

The BIG and the small.
He's in every one -- promising me He's still got it covered,
and every time I'm tempted to take it back -- He reminds me again,
"Suze, I made the sun come up this morning and I will set it down again tonight.
Trust Me".

If you're a praying person -- we would be honored if you would include us in your time in front of God.
We'll try to include specifics here on the blog.
For now, we would just submit our children...
Ben
Katie
Mackenzie.

Grateful for your partnering here.
And now, I'm off to the hospital for all my pre-surgery STUFF!

Blessings,
Suze

4 comments:

SusanSeptember 30, 2010 at 11:35 AM
I'm on my knees. I'm trusting, hoping, believing. I am amazed.
Love you all,
Susan
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Lori KniselyOctober 2, 2010 at 9:54 PM
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Lori KniselyOctober 2, 2010 at 10:01 PM
Suze-your dad has been keeping our family updated on your reports as well as your progress. I will definitely be remembering you and your family in prayer in the days and weeks ahead. Aren't we so blessed to have such awesome families? Even though you and I rarely see each other, I still have a bond with you from our times together as little kids!!
Love you and peace be with you. Thanks for doing the blog...love networking!!
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Brock and ChrisOctober 3, 2010 at 2:32 PM
Suze, A very powerful and emotional service today. Thank God for you.
We will be in prayer for you and your family on Thursday. Brock says the surgery was harder on me than him cause he was sleeping. :)
We never had a chance to talk, but since you read my blog, you now know more about the Whipple than we did at the time. We will be watching your progress from here.
Our God is an Awesome God!!
With love, Chris & Brock Bell
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Prayer.

9.7.11
Back in February, I asked you to pray for Jud Gerber who was fighting pancreatic cancer -- Jud went home to be with the Lord last week. Would you please pray for his family? For me? Continued regaining of strength and a willingness to enter into my life a bit differently when it comes to food and stress!

5.18.11
Our dear friends Gordon and Tonya Miller are facing huge decisions concerning Tonya's Dad Paul's health. Please pray for these dear ones.

2.20.11
Almost a month into knowing about the GDS and have had only minor "crashes". So grateful for the wisdom of Doctors and the wisdom to listen!

2.6.11
Would be so grateful for your prayers directed on behalf of my friend Judd Gerber who is fighting liver & pancreatic cancer.

1.29.11
Rejoicing this week as we seemed to have turned a corner with the GDS diagnosis. Praying the "fix" continues to work -- which will allow for longer periods for the nutrients to be absorbed!

1.23.11
Appointment with Dr. Y tomorrow. Grateful for several good days in a row! Yahoo.

1.15.11
Struggling today. Grateful for a chair to sit in and a family who has learned to "go with the flow". Still working at gaining a lb. or 20, but no progress there. Prayers appreciated.

1.10.11

So aware these days of SO MANY who are struggling. I know you know them too. Your prayers are so appreciated! For me, just continued regaining of my strength and stamina.

12.31.10
Have had a couple of rough nights in a row (days are good, nights not so much) and would really appreciate your prayers. Our neighbor did great during surgery -- thanks for your continued prayers for Randy and his family.

12.28.10
Our across the street neighbor had surgery today -- please join us in praying for his recovery. My sister and her crew head back to Kansas tonight -- what a great Christmas we all had together -- praying safety for all of them (even the dog!).

12.24.10
Praying and thinking about all the folks I know who are traveling this Christmas. And for all our "peeps" who are fighting for their health -- I hope this season has at least one moment of respite from that and you can experience Christmas joy!

12.20.10
Praying for those we love who are facing their first Christmas without someone they love. What a tough time this can be. Hope you'll join us. Also, Suze's weight continues to be a minor issue (nobody's freaking out about it, just concerned), so prayers are so appreciated!! And obviously, recovery from this morning's adventure.

12.15.10
Please pray for the Bobays and the Lytles as both families mourn the loss of a loved one. Also, while I've had some great days, I'm still working on a daily rhythm that works.

12.11.10
Went to work 3 days last week -- lots of good with some "difficult" mixed in for fun. Thanks for praying -- hoping to continue that again next and still so grateful for others who are praying for us.

12.8.10
My heart is full today with folks I know who are fighting the good fight with Cancer - Liz, Mr. Bobay, Judd, Sam, Roy, Mary, Janet & Mr. Whitenack. Won't you join me in asking God to do what only He can do for them! And yes, I'd be so grateful for a good day tomorrow!!

12.6.10
Going to try and do a little work at the Office this week. Would so appreciate your prayers for this. Also, please pray for our neighbor Craig's Dad (see the post) as he fights the good fight against Cancer.

12.3.10
Still no weight gain -- but we're hopeful!! :) Thinking that I'll try to get back to the office next week -- would so appreciate your prayers for that transition.

11.30.10
Doctor's appt. went well. No weight gain -- so still asking for prayer there and hopeful to ease back into some form of exercise that might help Suze "bulk up" (OK, gain a pound or 2).

11.28.10
Thinking and praying about how Advent can be something different, richer, truer this year. Pray that for you as well. And yep, Doctor tomorrow.

11.26.10
Suze heads to the Doctor on Monday. He will check on her progress with the Creon, she'll get weighed, and find out about returning to work. Please pray for God's purposes to be revealed.

11.23.10
Please pray for our friend Mary as she continues her fight with Cancer. We would also be grateful for your prayers as Suze continues to build her stamina (phew, who new a flight of stairs could be so challenging) in the day to day.

11.20.10
Grateful to let you know that this has been a week of noticeable progress. Thankful and grateful for your prayers.

11.18.10
2 days in a row where the nausea has been pretty well managed and the medicine seems to be working!! We're on a 10 day (next Doc appt) mission for Suze to gain weight. As always, thanks for your prayers.

11.16.10
That Pancreatic enzymes will re-start (or at least the medicine will start working) and for Suze's energy to return.

11.14.10
Doctor's appointment in the morning (finally). And Suze needs to GAIN WEIGHT (can't believe I'm typing that) -- so, any odd sort of prayer in that manner would be so appreciated!

11.12.10
Please pray for Kelly as he continues to carry the bulk of the parenting & household load on his own (laundry, taxi service, homework accountability, life with 3 teens, etc.) -- he's tired. Also, found out recently, the wife of a dear friend of ours is fighting cancer -- a huge reminder that suffering is among us and the world is waiting for our response. Know that we are praying for YOU as you pray for us! Grateful.

11.8.10
OK, keep those prayers for the Doctor's appt coming -- it's actually Wednesday!! As always, would so appreciate prayers for continued strength for Suze and for Kelly & the kids to continue the grace they've extended as they wait for her to recover!

11.7.10
Thanks for your prayers -- what a blessing.
If you are able, please pray for the Doctor's appt. tomorrow - that we'll have some clarity about next steps in recovery. Also, Suze is more on her own starting this week...please pray for her days.

11.5.10
Pray for our friend Cyprien of World Relief, who has traveled from Rwanda to update the FMC family on the on-going violence & strife in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Cyprien was God's man of the hour for Kelly & Joe in their trip to the DRC last year, stepping into key meetings around the issue of peace in that region with rural & urban pastors as well as key NGO's (i.e. Heal Africa). Pray for his stamina over the next several days as well as for safe travel when he returns home Monday.

Pray also for the Congo as we desire peace in that region of the world, seeing gender-based sexual violence cease once & for all, & to see God begin to heal the wounds caused by deep ethnic division.

11.4.10
Please pray for Suze's ability to attend Mackenzie's play tomorrow night and for Kenz, that opening night jitters will not get the best of her. Got an update from the Shumakers and Carol's Dad was unable to have the surgery. Please pray as they meet with the Oncologists in the morning.

11.1.10

Suze's sister Dawn heads back to Kansas tomorrow. Please pray for her safe travel. Also, we're thinking lots about our good friends Jack & Carol Shumaker as they journey with Carol's Dad to Duke for Nov 3 surgery. And of course -- Suze's ability to get enough calories in.

10.29.10

Our prayers are filled with thanksgiving today. Thank you the drugs are wiping out the infection, thank you that Dawn got here safely, and Thank You for each new day. Want to join us -- for all the things He's doing in your life?

10.27.10

Suze's sister (Dawn) is flying from Kansas to Fort Wayne tomorrow in order to spend some time with her "little" sister. Please pray for safety in her journey & against any unexpected delays.

10.26.10
A surgery/recovery like this one is hard on everybody. If we're on your list as you stand in front of God -- we're so grateful if you'll remember us and our continued forward progress. Suze, Kelly, the Kids, Suze's folks, well...everybody. Also, Suze's infection -- please pray that her body fights that off as well as the continued re-establishment of her systems.

10.25.10

Please pray for Suze's emotional & mental recovery this week. We've focused on the physical as that has been the most pressing but her attitude & outlook are as crucial in her continued progress & healing. Please pray for:

1. Patience in the day-to-day routine of life

2. Awareness of the daily spiritual battles & their impact on her body, mind & soul

3. Ability to bounce back to joy as quickly as possible; after all, the joy of the Lord is her strength!

10.23.10
Doctors Appt. on Monday -- please pray we'll have a clear understanding on what the next weeks will look like.

Also, we've learned that our good friends Jack & Carol Shumaker are now advocating for Carol's Dad who has been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Please pray for them as they head to North Carolina for surgery early November.

10.21.10
Fully aware today that life keeps moving forward no matter what, Kenzie came home sick from school today. A fever is a not a great thing for Suze to be exposed to -- so please pray for protection. Grateful for you and your friendship.

10.20.10

I am grateful today for three things:

1. I'm grateful for the way God is healing Suze's body;

2. I'm grateful for the speed & timing He has set for her

recovery;

3. I'm grateful for the deeper work He's doing in her heart

(& mine) as a result!

I wonder what three things you would be grateful for today?

10.19.10
God, we thank you for you presence. For the ways you make yourself known in and around our lives. Thank you for being the One. The Only One who knows every last thing we need and then provides them, one by one.
Friends, if you could pray for our kids we would so appreciate it. Tonight one of them had a major meltdown, I think the stress build up over the last days has gotten to each of us in different ways. So Grateful for your prayers of love and support.

10.18.10
We offer a prayer of thanksgiving. For all that God has done and is doing! If you think about us today, tomorrow, or the next...please pray for:
1. Suze's "at-home" recovery. Instead of a team of nurses, it's up to KellyScott -- he can handle it, but it's a big responsibility.
2. And for Nurse Kelly, that he can start to catch up on his rest.
3. As Suze re-enters, that she can really just go at the pace she needs. Not worry about the practicals of homemaking, but the reality of recovery.
4. The kids -- that they are able to relax into this re-entry. Their lives have continued full-speed ahead thru this and now with Mom home, hopefully a better rhythm is theirs as well.

10.16.10

"I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it."

I Cor. 3:2

Over the next few days, please pray as we figure out our next steps in the treatment & recovery process. Specifics include:

1. Wisdom for our doctors & nurses

2. A "waking up" of Suze's digestive system after the trauma

of surgery

3. Protection for Suze from nausea or vomiting

4. Stamina as we are both fatigued & our kids are feeling the

effects

5. Endurance as Suze is entering her 11th day in the hospital

We could not do this without you & your prayers. Your faithfulness is our inspiration!

10.15.10

You've seen today's blog so I'll lay out the prayer concerns very quickly:

1. Pray for the nausea & vomiting to stop. If it continues into

the night & the next morning they may still put the NG tube back in.

2. Pray for rest tonight. She's pretty tired.

3. Pray for strength in her spirit. Suze is fighting

discouragement. She's sick & tired of being sick & tired.

4. Pray for consistency in the shift change when Lisa (our

special nurse) goes off duty & the new nurse comes in. We

don't want the routine she's in to get compromised.

Thanks for your prayers!

10.14.10

"Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm..."

Job 38:1; 40:6

The perfect storm is more than just a movie, its life. Today, it was our life. On the heels of yesterday's good news we found out Suze might be released from the hospital as early as tomorrow. While this seemed exciting, we were unprepared for the stress of the day. So, in the spirit of "keeping it real," here's a highlight of today's weather:

Storm 1: Transitions We were both anxious about the transition to home - would the pain management therapy work as well there? Was the house ready for her return? What about the feeding tube & all the equipment needed?

Storm 2: Family Drama On top of that, there was the normal "drama" of the teens in our household, amped up by their own distress over the separation between themselves & mom.

Storm 3: Fatigue I hit the wall today in terms of fatigue, arriving at that not-so-fun place where ability (clear thinking, speaking or just walking w/out tripping) falls far short of what is required.

One of the things I am grateful for is that the God who loves me doesn't need a beautiful, high-pressure blue sky in order to speak into my life. He's just as capable of speaking Truth out of chaos as He is when things are running smooth.

Your prayers are effective & encouraging to us. We depend on them & find life through them. In fact, your prayers have so covered us, that even in the downpour of life, we find shelter when we need it most. Even tonight in this time of quiet & reflection, the presence of God restores calm to my heart & clarity to my mind & you are playing a part in that process.

Thank you for loving us so well & for sharing our burdens through this very difficult season!

10.13.10

NO - A word that implies restriction & often stirs up resistance within us;

CANCER - A word of that conjures up our fear of suffering & loss;

JESUS - The Living Word, whose presence & power turns limitation & fear upside down & inside out, rearranging them into a message of freedom & hope: NO CANCER!

THANK YOU

10.12.10
Please pray for:
1. Rest tonight - Suze needs it for her continued recovery & I
need it so I can put sentences together!
2. Our kids - School & relationship issues are never easy &
even though our kids are amazing, they're still...kids!
3. Our families - We're not the only ones with "stuff" going on
yet they step up & serve, pray, worry (just keeping it real) &
intercede on our behalf.

10.11.10
Those who trust in God are like Zion Mountain;
Nothing can move it, a rock-solid mountain
you can depend on.
Mountains encircle Jerusalem,
& GOD encircles his people--
always has & always will.

Psalm 125:1-2
The Message

Tonight, this sums up what I believe is true as well as my hope for tomorrow. God, I choose to live in this awareness.

May you be comforted by the fact that God has you, His child, completely surrounded & covered. May you be able to release your fear-fueled, control-driven death-grip on whatever is keeping you up tonight. Then may your open hand receive the better thing God has been waiting to give you--peace, comfort, assurance & perhaps a good night's sleep!

10.10.10
Thank you for your prayers today. We continue to be amazed by God's goodness & His mercy. Here's what I'm thankful for: 1. Our niece, Amy Elizabeth Hoffman who arrived in Fort Wayne safe-& sound
2. Our kids, Ben, Katie & Mackenzie who remind us what's real, lasting & most important.
3. Our friends who reflect the presence of God through their
encouragement.
4. Our Church - She's a beautiful bride!

May you linger over the small blessings, savoring their sweetness & allow yourself to enjoy the refreshment of gratitude!

10.9.10
...outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day...
Today was both difficult & pivotal in Suze's recovery process. Although she was moved out of ICU into a private room, the cost of the transition itself was almost too much for her to bear. Without going into the details, she was completely worn out by the toll of it all on her body & she could barely speak.

That was hard to watch for me as I wanted to alleviate her suffering -- I couldn't fix it for her. Then God whispered in my heart, "I got this..."

Anyway, please pray for Suze's rest, that the Great Physician would roll up His sleeves tonight even as she sleeps & restore in His Beloved girl that which was expended today. I am praying that God would give her peaceful sleep & protection through the night.

Thank you for your prayers, your love & your support. We cannot imagine going through this apart from it.

10.8.10
God is good...all the time...God is good!
That's such a familiar phrase yet when I speak it aloud or in the quiet of my heart, it resonates as real & solid. Thank you God for allowing a collection of words, simply arranged, to become the Holy Spirit's delivery vehicle of assurance & comfort. In you oh God, I put my trust!

Please pray for Suze tonight as she:
*Sits up
*Takes in some food (via the tube)
*Struggles to find a comfortable position to sleep after abou
40 hours in bed.

Please pray for Ben, Katie & Mackenzie as they hang out with their friends Saturday & Sunday that they will be renewed & refreshed.

Please pray for my sister-in-law (Dawn) who travels back to Kansas tomorrow from this whirl-wind trip (she's got the children's sermon on Sunday morning). Her presence has been a blessing not only to us, but to Suze's parents.

Please pray for me that God will do a "fishes-&-loaves" miracle for me, allowing me to experience strength in spite of limited rest.

Once again, I am thankful for God's activity in & through many people on behalf of our family. Today as Jim (Suze's dad) was coming to the hospital, a woman pulled up next to him, motioned for him to roll down his window & shouted from her car to his, "We're praying for Suze!" Needless to say, he was blown away...& reminded that God knows everything about everything!

God's Got It!!

10.7.10
"...morning by morning new mercies I see..."
That's been the theme of the day. Thank you God for:

*Our surgeon who was the absolute best guy for the job!
*Our friend Jess who connected us with our anesthesiologist
who "happened" to be the chief anesthesiologist of the
hospital.
*Steve, the surgical nurse who was in the OR with Suze, an
FMC'er who knows the God who knows everything.
*A community of care that supports us near & far.
*A smooth operation for Suze without complications.

Please keep her in your prayers for the next 24 hours as this is a very crucial time. Please pray for good pain management without nausea. Please pray for a gentle "wake-up." Please pray for God's peace that speaks into Suze's subconscious as she rests.

10.6.10
Please pray for our rest tonight.
For Kelly & the kids especially (Suze will have plenty of sleep).
Suze's Mom & Dad as they advocate for their daughter again.
Our extended family, close by and far-flung. We head out at 6:3 tomorrow & surgery to start at 8:3 Indiana time!!

10.3.10
Everybody's beginning to "feel" the stress a bit here at the house. There is an awareness all around that something big is coming. Kelly described as driving down the road and it's sunny all around you -- but you can see the storm clouds ahead and you just have to drive into them. We are praying for peace here at home and all the big and little things fall into place for Mom to be out of the loop for awhile. Glory revealed thru suffering.

9.30.10
Would love prayer for our children (Ben, Katie, Mackenz) as they continue to do "life" (school, play practice, golf, youth group, babysitting, hanging with friends, driving the car, learning how to drive the car, etc.) AND prepare for Mom's "deal". God's grace.

A song to live by.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Havergel