Surgery Day Reflections

Well its just about midnight & the day we were most ready to put behind us is, as they say, almost history.  Suze is resting in ICU as her father (Jim) & I maintain the "night watch" in the waiting area.  Institutional furniture is great for a couple of hours but lousy to sleep on.

I find it difficult to sleep as my mind races over the events of the day.  There is so much that was stored up in my heart!  I think the most meaningful were the faces in the waiting room, faces of friends old & recent, FMC collegues, family from near & far.

The Apostle Paul's candid affection for his friends in Philippi captures much of what I was experiencing throughout the day.

I thank my God every time I remember you...

Our Waiting Room Tribe: Katie, Mackenzie, Ben, Jim & Mim, Dawn, Jeana, Aunt Margaret, Kami, Bre, Scott & Tammy, Robin, Becky, Wayne, Kyle, Corinne, Kelly L., Becky, Steph, Karen & Chance, Jess, Pam, Laura, Jerry, Carolyn...God delivered joy through you which translated into strength for me & for our family!

The Parkview Medical Team:  Dr. Yohanda, Dr. Yurcannon (I just butchered his name), Steve (Suze's OR nurse - an FMC'er), Sheila (Suze's night ICU nurse - an FMC'er), Randy (Suze's day ICU nurse - not an FMC'er but a great guy!)


Prayer Warriors From Everywhere:  I know many of you but not all; but you know who you are & what you did!  Your prayers were not only heard but were answered many times over.


In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy...

This morning, as Suze was about to be rolled out to surgery, the OR nurse said, "God's got it!"  He was in church last Sunday when Suze preached about the omniscience of God.  Are you kidding me?  Jesus was in the OR & he wanted us to know it!

This afternoon, Kami (FMC intern) & Bre (Student Ministries staff) took Katie to lunch, offering her friendship, safety in sharing her fears & laughter at just the right time.  I watched Katie bounce back from fear to joy with these two dear people who loved my daughter well!

This evening, when I went home to change, grab a bite to eat & offer a little relief to Dot the Wonder Dog (tongue firmly in cheek), I found our house spic-&-span clean!  Joy, Amy & Pam (staff spouses) had slipped in while all of the hospital drama was happening to clean our house.  After this long day, it was an absolute joy to come home for a bit & bask in the home we love so much.  Just when I thought it was as good as it was going to get, it got a little better!

Tonight, as I was waiting to be buzzed back into the ICU, Sheila Harrigan walks around the corner.  Sheila is an FMC'er, the mom of Ben's friend & one of the most spiritually influential people in Katie's life.  Sheila is Suze's nurse in the night.  Now you're just showing off God!  This was one of the parts of this saga that most concerned Suze--waking up in the ICU alone & disoriented!  Even now, Sheila is God's "grace-&-peace-in-the-flesh" for Suze & I am so grateful!

Because of your partnership in the gospel...

I have been privileged to have a front-row seat in this concert performance of the Body of Christ.  The harmony of so many different players, the perfect timing of the Holy Spirit, the absolute wonder of Master conducting His symphony - I keep wanting to shout, "Encore, Encore!   I am truly humbled & in awe of the move of God today through you, His people. 

To God Be The Glory, Great Things He Has Done!

Surgery Completed

Suze is out of surgery & all is well.  (I've been waiting all day to be able to type those words!)  Here's the 411 on the surgery:

• They removed an enlarged lymph node - appears benign!

• They removed the tumor (bigger than a silver dollar) - appears benign but won't be confirmed until next week after the lab work is completed.

• Whipple was performed successfully - all the "plumbing" (crass but descriptive) is in place.

• Suze is now in ICU & sleeping..soundly...zonked...the lights are on & no one's home...you get the idea!

• Her pain is being managed through the epidural (3-4 days) which minimizes pain meds - a good thing!

We're VERY grateful (see prayer)!  Thank you for all of your prayers...keep 'em coming!

Latest Checkpoint

"The surgeon is on the home-stretch!"  That's the latest update & things are going well.  They estimate about an hour more...which in doctor-speak could be two hours.  I appreciate your prayers & your thoughts; they have sustained us today.

Surgery Underway...

First Report From The OR - The anesthesiologist did his thing (epidural's in) & Dr. Yohanda (surgeon) began actual surgery at 9:40am.  All is well!

And So It Begins...

Hey all! The surgery was right on schedule this morning. They took Suze back at 9:00 am to the OR. We are very confident and grateful for the doctors we have-amazing! Then, we found out that a surgical nurse that will be in the OR with her (Steve) is an FMC'r and knows that God's got it! We'll give you more info later today when we get an update.
More to come...
Katie and Kelly

Day before.

Today is an absolutely stunning day here in Fort Wayne.
The sun is out and the leaves are turning and all is right in the world...
except for tomorrow I'm going in for this big surgery...there is after all, that!
But even that, as we're learning, is part of what is "right" for me, for our family,  & for our friends.

This reality that we're facing is more than just a big procedure,
more than just an event that takes me out of our home for several days,
more than just an "inconvenience" or even a scarey surgery.
It is what will tell us what is hiding there in my Pancreas,
and then, what our next steps are.

So, we walk toward it...
Hesitantly?  You bet!  With some very concerns?  Definitely.
But we get up tomorrow and walk into that hospital with a trust and faith that outweigh our hesitancy and concern.

Last night, some good friends dropped off this book.  Written by friends and  filled with words of hope, encouragement, affirmation, LOVE,
laughter, and truth!  What a gift.  I'm not even able yet to read it all. But I did want to share with you what's on the title page...

"Our first breath of frustration may be filled
with a curse, but we determine the future by
what we do with the second breath."
                                                                       - Dr. Robert Morris

So, here's to LIVING in and out of the SECOND BREATH.
I pray that for us and you.
I know we're not the only ones struggling.
The hearts, connected to the eyes, reading these words, are wrestling with big things just like us.  I know some of your stories -- jobs changing, finances diminishing, kids giving you a run for your money, parents aging, marriages kind of shakey, the future staying uncertain, your faith is wavering, and WE ARE ALL left wondering.
So, let's just take a breath.
The 2nd and the 400th and I betcha we'll all find exactly what we need to walk forward.

We're so grateful for the love.
Hard to put it into words.
So, we'll just say thank you...for what is and what is to come.
The words, the prayers, the scriptures that have meant something to you, the meals, the prayers, the house cleaning, the sitting with, the thoughtfulness to the kids, the emails & texts, the Facebooking, and did I say, "prayers"?

This will be my (Suze) last entry for awhile.
I'm having a glorious day today "getting ready"!! :)
So, until I'm back and able to type coherently - some would argue I'm not doing that now - I'm giving you what I've got...

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed in our hearts, we felt the sentence of death.  But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God, who raises the dead.  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril and He will deliver us.  On Him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers."  2 Corin. 1:8-11

Breathing that second breath,
Suze

Sunday night realities.

So today is Sunday and for us that usually means Church and a nap,

homework, popcorn for supper, and making sure a certain someone gets the trash taken out.

This Sunday was a bit different as we kind of went "public" (Suze did the preachin' at Fellowship) with our deal.

It was an amazing day -- from the fellowship with our FMC family, the Choir rocked the house, the prayer time as an entire community, and the unexpected blessing of getting to sit with Suze's folks during worship and then seeing some really good friends who we love so very much but don't get to see often.

A day of blessing and reminder.

Again.

That God has got all this already figured out.

We can wrestle and plan and negotiate, but mostly He just wants our hearts.

So, today that's what we gave Him.

Our niece Jessica has recently gotten married and moved to Oregon (that's us on the right).

It feels like a really far way off...

But she sent me (Suze) a FB message this week letting me know that she's praying for us and asking God for His absolute best for me.

and then she said this...

“God knows exactly what He's doing doesn't He? huh From beginning to end he is still writing our stories. (Even when we think we're doing the writing, just because we're doing the living...so silly)” 

We like that girl (and her husband too!).

So tonight we go to bed with a greater awareness of the blessing that is ours because God loves us enough to give us exactly the grace we need to wake up tomorrow morning and see what Monday holds for us.  

We are also very aware that we are not alone as God writes this chapter in our story.  

So many are literally right here with us while many, many more are far away and yet, using the greatest weapon we'll ever have -- prayer.

Thanks for including us in your conversations with the only One who can Heal any of us.

Grateful, 

Kelly & Suze