Tomorrow morning Kelly and I head to Dr Y's office for a check-up.
As I think about the things I want to ask him (what's the deal with my weight?, how come I can't really rely my "innards" yet?, when will I know "normal" has arrived?)
I'm curious as to what he's looking for?
I mean at this point, there's nothing really visually different than when we first met (other than the lack of a tumor and that big scar!!). What questions will he ask that will let him know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this point in my recovery OR something is seriously "off"?
I guess it makes sense that I can't figure out what he will ask me -- that's what makes him the specialist and me...
well, just the patient.
He's done this a few times, he knows what he's doing -- that's why I trusted him from the very first moment I met him and for all those hours he would spend working inside my body - literally!
When you think about it -- it's an odd relationship really.
This Doctor/Patient thing.
In kind of a goofy way -- it's almost like loving someone else.
When we decide we're going to love another -- we have to decide we're going to give it all away.
All of it -- expectations, power, control, and ultimately...
having to have our own way.
And at the very same time we're handing over these treasures, we're deciding that what we do bring to the relationship is belief and trust.
I believe you have my best in mind.
I trust you to take all that I just handed you and honor me with it.
That is LOVE.
No matter what the relationship is - husband, wife, friend, parent, child, teacher, student, boss, employee, and yep, even doctor or patient -- without LOVE it's just not going to work.
Wherever you are on the faith thing -- without LOVE, you're not going to get far.
For me, the thing that often gets in the way between me and God is that I'm not willing to hand him all the things I have to let go of to really fall in LOVE.
Uugh. Sometimes that really bugs me about me.
But, physical check-ups aren't the only ones that are good for us!
Being reminded that there is a LOVE that is perfect (not mine for sure) and it has been offered to me -- over and over and over again -- is helpful and makes me glad that I'm not done with this living thing!
And so, tomorrow is more than just a check-up, it becomes another chance to practice LOVE.
Hope you get a chance to practice too!!
Loved,
Suze
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